Nine. Twenty Three.

1. The cool weather today calls for soup!

2. She returns to her not sleeping habit. I go back to yelling.

3.  Listening to classical solo piano changes the way my heart beats.

4.  How can I help?

5. The fish still make me smile.

6. Black polished nails growl for glitter.

7. I magnify his stress, how can I just listen & let him know he is heard & held?

8. She pats my back when I pick her up. Comfort returned & given.

9. Today I shall be…eyes wide, mouth shut.

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Nine. Twenty Two.

1. No matter how pretty the printable, it will not cook the food or clean the toilet. 

2.  She wanted all the kisses to feel like whispers of hope & enough.

3. Storytelling for soul connection. 

4. The spirals we live in.

5.  Capturing what if feels like, not what it looks like. 

6. Showing a way, not telling.

7. I do not aim to connect with others, so what the #&*$ am I doing here?!

8.  On my own hormones, I live further from an edge. Mostly.

9. I think eyebrows & an iris tell secrets we often wish to keep.

Nine. Twenty One

1. Craving soup (still) even though it is so hot (still).

2. All things take time. Boo. Sigh.

3.  Small significant steps daily taken produce long lasting results. I just want to do it once, really well, & be done. 

4. My patience pants are short & tight & wearing thin.

5.  Polka dot feathers always make me smile.  Thanks guinea fowl!

6. Waking up at two in the morning & not falling asleep for at least an hour is getting so old. 

7. Strobe lightning last night.

8. He let me scratch his back just after waking up. Sweet, slow start.

9. I do not know where to begin.

Nine. Twenty.

1. Hurt blocks creativity. I just want this hole gone.

2. Purple flowers in honor of my mother. She text me “Goodbye C have a nice life.”

3. Nails lacquered in pitch black.

4. Eyes will be lined too. Accessories as armor & an outward expression of an inner sadness laced with anger.

5. “…to write is to note down the music of the world.” -Helene Cixous

6.  Today I shall be…quieter. Listen to them speak.

7. Visiting a local farm to touch bunnies, look into the big eyes of a cow & laugh at goat antics.

8. “The deepest dream of silence is the beauty of music & word.” -John O’Donohue

9. Walk in beauty.

Nine. Nineteen.

1. When you wonder the exact pattern, amount of blood in your eyes & scar made from bashing your head into a mirror. #parents

2. When your mother tells you to stop caring about her & your dad. What does one reply?

3. Thank you to the sweet lady who watched over my child while I used the restroom. You are an angel.

4. He rolled down a hill to make his sister laugh. He is amazing.

5. He gave us each a hug & kiss & said “I love you.” My heart melts.

6.  She continues to hurt me in new & inventive ways. 

7. I think stationary is a simple pleasure filled with hope.

8. The breeze was like a touch across my skin & playing with my hair.

9. It is growing harder not to hate her.

Nine. Eighteen.

1. Quadruple kisses from them. My heart swells to burst.

2. I want to know if you know how to melt into that fierce heat of living, falling toward the center of your longing. – David Whyte

3. I am truly at my worst when driving. Especially across the river. Particularly when I notice someone looking at their phone and not the road. I WILL FIND A WAY TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR A#$. 

4.  Deep breath. Repeat. And again.

5.  My scalp still tingles

6. Sail. Calms me down a notch. Or twenty. No need to ask why, it just does. Magic.

7. Window cleaning young male style-with a water gun in the nude. Whip with cloth to dry. Sparkling!

8.  “We dwell between the air & the earth, guests of that middle kingdom where light & colour embrace.” -John O’Donohue 

9. Let’s dance in this space. 

Nine. Seventeen.

1. All of us on the trail. Racing ensues. 

2. Siting on the couch with Littles all around. They smell so good.

3. He played with my hair. 

4. Just underpants & blankets. Donut run!

5. Ran in the darkness before the dawn. It truly is as they say.

6. Scents of cigarettes, cologne & laundry detergent.

7. “I don’t want to say shit.” The laughter that follows from the speaker & his audience (us).

8. She woke up crying & after her blanket rearranged & a bit of a back rub, back to sleep she goes. I am thankful I am here for this.

9. How can I love me?