This Fear

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I rage with tears streaming down my cheeks. The anger boiling over in harsh whispers as I struggle to surrender. To give up a fight which is not mine.

I am afraid.

I am scared of what will happen. The attempt (and fail) to control, to make better.

I have unspoken, unknown dreams. I am afraid of my desires.

I am scared I will look deeply into my life and adore what I see.

What if I hate it?

I dread the thought of joy being a simple choice. If it’s so simple, why is it so hard?!

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