Outdoor sleeping in the buff!
May 16-Sometime after 4am. Happy one week fresh birthday! I am writing this in the semi-darkness of your cool bedroom as your sleep on my lap & a pillow covered by a super-soft fleece blanket w/ just a diaper on because you have wet many outfits this evening/night. You sleep with one fist near your face-under you chin, against your cheek. Looking thoughtful & contemplative. Like that statue of a man with his pose being one of thought too. You are warm against my soft belly. I sometimes miss your kicks & stretches within my belly, then I get to hold you and the remembrance is less painful. I love you so much it brings tears to my eyes. Scares me too. Overwhelmed. Overflowing.
We slept belly to belly this night for a brief period of time. Our bellies touching on inhales. Warm & peaceful and oh-so-content.
A week ago at this time, your first cry, welcome to the world. When did I find out you were a boy? I don’t remember hearing the words though they must have been spoken. You cried almost instantly upon arrival. No breaths (ours) needing to be held for your first one.
Needed to adjust the blanket around your little body. You are making a bicep macho man with your left arm & your right fist is under your chin. Your cool left foot is crossed over your right and flat against my side. You appear to be dreaming of eating and a smile. Sorta sly looking. I can’t help but touch gently your soft, downy head.
Looking back the week past quickly but during it seemed to flow, just fine. Lots of feedings, changing, clothes washing. A sponge bath for you in a steamy bathroom. A photo session to capture your cuteness. Lots of visitors to hold you as you slept.
I asked your pa yesterday what he remembers best about this week.
1. The patience I have with you (thank-you universe, or perhaps hormones, for giving me giant patience-pants upon your birth)
2. You holding his finger (photo op taken advantage of!)
3. The way I look at you-so sweetly and eyes full of love
You are cherished.
1. Carrying you close to my heart
2. Your dad holding you in his huge, strong hands
3. A hug in the kitchen-our family of 3
:pen lifted from paper: contemplated a blog for you/of you. A diary, a memento, a remembrance. Hmmmm. Need to changed your diaper and get some sleep too.
Your umbilical cord fell off today
My neck is in agony from gazing down at you Little One. I love when your head is on my shoulder (burping position). Sweet mushy bean of warmth.
Whatever you decide to do, don’t do it in order to be worthy,
Do it because you already are!